I was sitting at the window out of my living room and looking at the street below. My small flat is in the middle of the busy street. There is no chance of anyone feeling lonely in this place because every few hours we have the train bringing lots of people who get out and disperse as quickly as many get in. Whether in cool summer or in the snowy winters the crowd moves on all the time. Life’s ebb never fades in this place.

Now days I sit and watch people as they hurry to get to their offices and places of work and evening hurry to head back home after a day’s work. It is the same routine everyday for five days a week. It does not look monotonous to them at all. Looking at all the people hurrying through makes me feel that we are very much like ants, busy bodies all the time going about work until we fall down one fine day. I was one of them too. I had never stopped to notice life passing me by for I too was busy chasing my career and goals. It was work and office all the time. I had never known or experience the various facets of human relationship. I had never known the joy of eating popcorn outside the cinema hall or an ice cream on the bench in the train station. What about the seasons? I had missed out on the most romantic aspect of nature for so many years. Now I see the changing seasons and the change in the earth and nature’s colors in celebration of each season. I can see the trees waiting in anticipation of spring and the birds waiting too. I am at peace with the world and happy to be sitting at my window watching the world go by.

If you are wondering how did I come to be sitting at home, well it was at the peak of my career that I happened to fall ill and was diagnosed with ER+ breast cancer. I have been on hormonal medication for the past few weeks. I have been prescribed Novaldex and I have read all about this medication and what it is supposed to do in my body. Novaldex is known as an antagonist of estrogen receptor and hence inhibits the estrogen receptor cells. The cancer cells in such cases depend upon estrogen for their survival and growth. When Novaldex is able to inhibit the activity of estrogen receptor, the cancer cells are forced to die.

After this treatment I would have to undergo further tests and then the doctors will decide on further course of treatment involving chemotherapy and radiation etc.

Yes when I was diagnosed with cancer, my world around me shattered. But once I came to terms with it, it no longer bothered me. In fact cancer has helped me live life and appreciate every moment of it. I have discovered that beneath all human beings, animals and nature there is a common thread of life and a hum unheard which I know is Love.

Death is a certainty for all of us only that we do not know when it will come to take us. Body is like a machine and one day or the other the parts have to fail. We have to have a reason for death to occur. So how does it matter when and how I die. Today is important and it is also important that I live every moment and learn in this school of life and let life take its own course. I will flow silently searching for my ocean of Love.